Habits FOR MEN

Build a foundation of affection

32. Hold your wife and kiss her every night

Women’s biggest need is emotional, physical, and spiritual security. It doesn’t matter what happened during the day, she needs to know you love her. Withholding affection on tough days or during disagreements is a natural reaction, but a good man will hold his wife anyway. It really does break the tension and help you both reconnect emotionally.

33. Kiss your wife and tell her you love her every morning

Mornings can be fast paced, but a kiss lets her know she is important even in the middle of the chaos and sets the tone for the day. It is a sign of a daily commitment to your marriage.

34. Notice your wife

Compliment her, tell her she is beautiful, a good wife and a good mom. She probably thinks far less of herself than you do and she needs to know you see and value her.

35. Take her on dates

Carve out a night and put it on the calendar. Get a sitter for the kids and take her to dinner and movie or to play mini-golf. She will appreciate it even though dating can be difficult if you are not in the habit but keep it up and it will pay off in the end.

36. Celebrate her birthday

Put your wife’s birthday on the calendar so you don’t plan something else and make a big deal even if she says not to. You love her that much.

37. Plan vacations together ahead of time

The wife is often in charge of planning vacations but, if you take time to plan together it will be special and a bonding moment as you talk and plan something fun.

38. Plan ANNIVERSARY getaways

Show her your anniversary is important by getting away for a night. It doesn’t have to be expensive just intentional.

39. Show non-sexual affection

Hug her, hold her shoulders while she washes dishes, put your arm around her while you watch TV, kiss her cheek and hold her hand. She needs to know you love her for more than sex.

Habits for women

Build a foundation of honor

40. Be verbally grateful

If means more to your husband than you know when you simply say thank you for what he does every day. Thank him for working hard, for coming home, mowing the grass, taking out the trash, helping around the house,  investing in retirement, playing with the kids, coaching their teams.  Notice what he is doing and thank him. You duplicate what you celebrate.

41. Be physically affectionate

Women aren’t the only ones who need affection. He may not say it but it means a lot to be hugged and kissed when he comes through the door. An affectionate wife can build a sacrificial husband.

42. Affirm your husband

It means a lot when you tell your husband he is a good man and you are proud to be his wife. Men will typically run through a wall for a wife who believes in them.

43. Respond with honor and respect

One of men’s biggest need is honor.  It is ok to disagree and you can, as long as you do it with honor.  Criticism or disrespect cuts deep in a man and causes him to close off, usually so that he won’t react in anger or escalate a disagreement. 

44. Believe in his dreams

His deepest desire is usually to make life better for his family, so when he dreams believe in him.  He will take risks and sometimes even fail but that is part of the process of becoming successful. Be his biggest cheerleader not his critic.

45. Be his place of peace

When he feels stress at home, he feels like he need to fix something and if he can’t find peace, he may shut down.  His creativity and passion operate at a higher level when he doesn’t feel like everything is a fire he has to put out.

46. Show sexual affection easily

Take initiative, surprise him, put his hands on you, tell him you want him, don’t make him guess. He fights enough battles, bless your husband with good sex often.  Don’t make sex one more minefield he has to navigate.

For the broken marriage

47. Get help when you hit a wall

IF YOU ARE ON THE VERGE OF DIVORCE THERE IS STILL HOPE. Talk to someone who can encourage and pray with you both.  Don’t hide it.  Every marriage struggles, even severely at times.  There are also great resources to help marriages in crisis.  Here is a great ministry that has helped several couples we have personally referred to them. https://marriagerestored.com

Conclusion

48. Serve one another

Be patient with each other if you don’t do all of these things.  You have a lifetime of growth ahead of you.  Start with one habit and build from there.  Forgive each other daily, don’t give up on each other, make coffee for her, fold his clothes, make the bed for her, give him a massage and never stop.  You can do this. Every act of service is a deposit into your spouse and your marriage.  Put God first, each other second, your kids third and everything else after that.  Your kids and our culture need your marriage to be strong.  

May the Lord bless your marriage today and always.

Pastor David J. Sanchez

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